Wizard Wonky

Balloonanimals.co.uk - you said ...

2007-06-27T21:02:00.000Z

I sell balloons and pumps - have balloon songs and plays and a DIY Party Plan on my other site. Loads of firms buy the stuff for 'Away Days' or whatever - B&Q, BBC, local dentist even. The Editor of our local well-known magazine 'ThisIsKidsStuff' trialled it and gave it a most glowing report. It;s on the web site. Here are some more comments.

Why hire an entertainer when the kids can do it themselves for so little money!
It's all on ballonanimals.co.uk

"I want to thank you for your site. I now know how to make a balloon dog. I am disabled with a extremely rare disease. many of my days are spent in bed. I have joined a group of women here in Estherville, IA that call themselves "Hugger Clowns". We have two nursing homes in our town where we go to clown. Each clown has something special they do. A friend gave me a clown suit and now I will have something special to do also. It helps my soul and spirit to be able to help others. The felling I get when I look into their eyes, a smile on their faces or when they sing with us. We have one elderly man that only responds when we sing. He actually sings with us and knows the words to almost every song.

I just can't wait to go next month and surprise them with the balloon dogs. I am sure they will all have smiles on their faces. I am going to practice on some of the other balloon animals you talk about in your web site.

I am sorry I that I am unable at this time to pay for your secrets or any of your products as I am very low income. Your site was easy to use and made it fun. GREAT JOB !!!
Thank you again. I just wanted you to know your site will make some elderly people smile.
Sincerely, Chris lillirish@bigfoot.com"

Wiz> Needless to say - I gave her secret password!

"Hello, Firstly, thanks for the only helpful website for normal people!!
I run a restaurant that badly needs a bit of fun adding (for the team and guests!) and would like to teach the team how to do balloon twisting so they can entertain our guests. It would be great to get you along to teach us and have some fun but I gather that is the expensive, lazy option! Please could you recommend what I should buy so we can teach ourselves, and then have the things we need to do it for our guests.
Think you are fab, and look forward to hearing from you soon!
Rosie General Manager The Blacksmiths Arms"

And one more>

"A revelation - pumping in both directions!

Have used lots of free pumps with babies book club 'how to do balloons, etc.' - RUBBISH!

Went down really well at babies birthday - all adults had a go and had a real laugh - babies got the experiments but loved them all the same!

Will be ordering more shortly.

Best Wishes

Jade"

Magic Tricks for SALE!!

2007-06-16T13:51:00.000Z

When I first started, I went to all the big Conventions. Super one in Blackpool every year courtesy of Derek Lever, but also as a member of the International Brotherhood of Magicians I went to the 1500+ major annual conventions.
Associating with local magicians of note from the Hereford Magical Society and through them meeting luminaries like Paul Daniels and all the other big names around at the time, and big names in the magic world that the public were possibly less aware of - Ali Bongo for one - I soon got a collection of fabulous magic.
My god there's some clever people out there. The guy (Jupiter) who could shuffle a pack of cards in mid air - with one hand! He only had one arm anyway! The guy who could just wave a hand over a coin on the table and with no visible flexing (remember - there' a ring of clever magicians watching only inches away!) pick the coin up and vanish it.

However, over the years I have discovered that the clever dick stuff, or the really really clever stuff, or worst of all, the "I'm cleverer than you stuff" just doesn't suit my character. I'm more a stand-up comedian for kids and families - more like Terry Herbert - with a magic trick taking me through all the fun.

Hence some really cool stuff is for sale on Ebay this week. Just type in 'magic tricks' and you'll see collections of stuff for sale.

Stephen Tucker was one of my favourites - very funny, off the wall stuff for adults. His Cleudo is just brilliant fun. Also very very easy to do.

Supreme and Ian Adair sold many wonderful things - so funny wands, giant combs and other things make up another sale.

KR made a fabulous Swingabingo jigsaw magic trick for 3-5yr olds. Superbly made out of wood - and there aren't many magic tricks for this age group! Involves a spinner that stops where you want it too, colours and simple animal jigsaws with 4 big pieces. This with a turn-em-round Destination Moon from Practical Magic and two egg bags (plus eggs) give you (or would give me) three major tricks that could last 20 minutes each. All with the routines and unused.

There are some Mark Leveridge items (Keyvolution is one) for sale - and also the amazing Funny Funnel. That trick really does take on so much extra fun - try it with a chain of children. Add the Disappearing jug and slush powder too and there's at least 20 minutes worth there.

The Card Duck is famous too. It actually (magically!) selects the very card chosen by your helper. The set for sale includes marked cards, force packs and so on. Also for sale are the Disappearing Hank and Vanishing Box.

Levitating glasses, silks, Eeny Meeny Miney and Mo - the funny rabbits that mess around. I can't remember what's in each pack - but definitely worth a look on Ebay with lots of pictures and full descriptions.

Bargains on Ebay to provide you with many separate shows. I'd buy them now, if I were you! Oh, I already did!

Big Chill

2007-06-13T20:28:00.000Z

It's going to happen! I actually got my contract to do the Kids Area again - pretty late, and I'll be lucky to get any of the top acts we've had before at this late stage.
Any acts out there who want to start out doing their stuff for a free ticket? Sounds cheeky but there are lots who ask - and if you're good, and you come back next year - you get paid! So - if you have something original and you're free on Aug 3,4,5 - email me!
I'm particularly looking for a Troubadour. We have a craft area and a play area - we also have shows. What we don't have is someone who is dressed interestingly, who can wander round and engage those NOT involved in an activity, those sat innocently around our Kids Area, and give them a story. You've just travelled the world (the universe?) and have a short story - from 1 minute to five minutes - that you just HAVE to tell them! Maybe you also have an odd artifact in a pocket to illustrate.
Are you different? Tell me about it!

Glastonbury festival - the first one!

2007-06-02T20:58:00.000Z

I was there!! Me and about 900 others.

I was 19 - just into my second year of A levels at Weston-super-Mare Tech. OK A level retakes. One weekend, fed up with the usual Young Farmers drink-all-you-can weekends, or avoiding the Bournville gang, there was a pop festival at a village called Pilton not far away. In fact it was the Pilton Festival as far as I remember, not the Glastonbury Festival.
We'd all been to the amazing Bath Blues Festival in the summer - but this... What can I say! My memory of it is ...
We drove down paid on the gate (only a pound and you got free milk! Believe that??!!) and parked at the back of a field. We wandered across this not very huge field to watch the bands. I could have sworn the Kinks were there, but Marc Bolan definitely was. Obviously we had a great time but it was a small small event in a little field.
I never went again. The next year I was at Brighton College of Education and starting to book bands myself for college gigs. Fairport Convention, Steeleye Span, Al Stewart and many others.
I don't know how it progressed over the years. Have you ever heard of it?

Big Chill Festival

2007-06-02T20:13:00.000Z

I organise the Kids Area at the Big Chill - and have since they first arrived at Eastnor. The first year I had a tent round the back of nowhere so I spent the whole time wandering the site in my Wizards gown and hat. There was a stand selling juggling equipment next to me. He was really fed-up! Just us in the middle of a field.
The second year I had a tent next to the second main stage. I spent three days, 11 til 5 entertaining hundreds of children and their parents on my own! Why do I do this!!!
The third year I got a small budget. The best moment was trying to do a show that was not meant to be mime, though that, in effect is what it became. Not quite the band I expected at this super Chill, absolutely soooper festival for Suits - The Wurzels. Just about everyone at the Chill crammed into the second field to shout and stomp there way through 'Rolling in the Clover' and 'I am a Cider Drinker' for an hour.
Each year the budget has increased and the area has become very very popular. Often 500 children and families are involved. Last year there was a wonderful moment when some band or other went into a quiet phase of meaningful sounds in mid-afternoon. At that point Punch had just happily clouted Judy and was shrieking 'That's the way to do it!'. Cue for man storming across from the sound stage warning us to be quiet or else!! Children, eh/
'Twas ever the same. Be seen but not heard!!
I decided to provide entertainment for each age group and each humour. Sanguine (lots of energy, but have a problem directing it), choleric (a doer and a leader), phlegmatic (self-content and kind and shy), and melancholic (highly creative but easily depressed).
So we have areas of creativity, of quiet and activity, academic and arty, play and watch.
We have a wonderful craft area making masks, a giant wicker animal, withy wavers, and a paint wall. This is done by Carnival Arts Group (that's Leo and Becky et al - though I've yet to meet al).
Puppet shows and Punch & Judy from Puppetree are fabulous. Many puppet shows do not have engaging people doing it - but they do! Really nice people - Brian does the booth and Judy is outside encouraging, doing the oohs and aahs. They also have a portable booth and introduce themsaelves and the puppets before they start. Highly professional.
We had Science Boffins there last year. I'm not sure the guy knew what he had let himself in for - but the kids loved him. I just loved the nonchalance when he said 'Oh. Good. I see you've tied my shoelaces together!!'
Rocking horses! Kids need time out and these are so popular. The 3 star Rocking Horse Company also bring hobby horses and swing boats.
Elzapoppin does quick fire face painting. Trying desperately not to let the queues build up too much. Ellen and Ruth do faces and arms - kids and grown ups!
Miss Wonky has giant games for families to play - from twister to snakes & ladders, quoits to hopscotch. She also has a colouring in session at lunch time.
Wizard Wonky does his usual inept magic show and I also finish the day with a massive Balloon Chaos session. Dozens and dozens of pumps are handed out, many hundreds of ballons and within seconds everyone is shown how to make their own balloon animals.
Lastly we wander the field with all the children and their parents, waving everything they've made during the day.
Mr Doo runs the circus tent. Everyone just HAS to learn how to juggle, or spin plates, or use the diabolo ...
So that's an advert for the Big Chill - and me! Do you need someone to get together a Kids Area?
I've no idea what the festival is like - I'm always too knackered by six o'clock!

German sense of humour or what!!

2007-05-31T19:07:00.000Z

I was booked to do a show in Germany for a school for children with learning difficulties. It seems to me that most children suffer from learning difficulties though it's probably more to the point that many adults in schools suffer from teaching disabilities!

Anyway I am perfectly used to entertaining such children but I cannot speak German. In England, to be honest, I don't care what the difference is - age (3 or 103), autistic or downs, deaf or blind (I've done 'em all!) - I treat them all the same. And it works. Luckily my personality comes across and we all have fun.
However in Germany they offered a translator. As much of what I do is fairly obvious, especially with facial expressions, it only needed a few quick sentences to be translated. For instance, at one point I did a story about rabbits which they loved. I said 'You're all little rabbits' - or I thought that's what I said, in German.

I noticed it got a far bigger laugh from all the adults than I had expected. But then we all know about the German sense of humour. Later, when I asked why they'd laughed so raucously it was explained to me that my kind translator had me say not 'You're all little rabbits' but 'You're all little shits!'.

Later that day I had to do some close-up magic in the market in the town. One trick I love is done with two coins. You actually put them into the suspects hand, they close their hand - when they open it again one of the coins has gone. It is the most fabulous trick causing outright astonishment.
Not in Germany.
There, this two metre tall lad thought I was accusing him of stealing it. He had no sense of magic, of being entertained, of wonder. He was upset. He became abusive and threatening. I became very scarce!
So, about that sense of humour then ...

When things go wrong

2007-05-31T19:05:00.000Z

Once - just once, I had no spare balloon pump with me. And that would be the time I began to rely a lot on balloons during the show. And it broke! Panic flooded through me becuase I'd built up to this bit. And it was a somewhat intimidating group - the local Rugby Club Christmas do, with a dozen or so children at the front. "So," I asked, after a moment of silence "has any here got big breaths?" One or two gave me an odd look but I quickly handed round balloons to get them blown up for me. Not one person could do it (including me, of course!). So I had no balloons, but we had a great deal of fun - and of course the children loved watching their Dads make fools of themselves, and the Dads had all sorts of jokes about the balloons (well, they would, wouldn't they!). However I now carry a spare with me, a smaller spare tucked away and one more in the car. I aint never gonna get caught out again!

I need Wonklets

2007-05-31T18:46:00.000Z

There was the time, only a few years after I'd started entertaining when I had a booking in this nice house. Lovely front room, about 8 or 9 girls who'd seen me before. They were in a state to have fun and after half an hour the father wandered in. I hadn't even started! I blushed, apologised, said how I not got round to doing the tricks yet, blustered a bit. He soon stopped me and said: "Well you seem to have entertained them pretty well to me!" I had the sense to shut up then as I realised that I was no longer a magician - I was an entertainer. A learning curve indeed.
Many years later I reckon I'm a stand-up comedian for children. I started by doing at least half a dozen tricks. Other magicians would ask how many tricks you do! Now I do one - maybe two. And still entertain for up to an hour before a break. Even with 3 year olds.
I am thinking of starting a sort of agency. When I'm booked there's no one else round here to recommend. How will I select other entertainers? How will I judge which beginners will be good?
One simple thing is all I look for. Do the kids like them? If so it doesn't really matter about the magic - it will come! Kids will laugh and cheer - especially if you're clever or funny. But if they really like you - that's real magic.
Anyone in the Hereford area?

Holidays and stuff ...

2007-05-30T21:37:00.000Z

Used to have bookings spread all across the week and weekends. Since all the after school clubs they're 90% weekends nowadays. This means I have to take fewer bookings because of all the other things that claim weekend time! Sad! What with Mrs Wonky, two Miss Wonkies and Grandma Wonky. No chance for a poor male Wizard.
A little party at home after school used to fit in nicely for the poor parents. Not to put too fine a point on it - it was all done and dusted and ready for bed! Now though - weekend parties take the whole day up. Decorating the village hall is bad enough but you also have to entertain all the parents. With the party at lunch time - what do you do with the afternoon? Suddenly the birthday party takes all day.
As far as I'm concerned Sods Law says I'll have a booking on one side of the county in Hay-on-Wye and the next person to phone up will be from the other side of Worcestershire in Evesham. I envy those working in Birmingham with millions within reach of an average powered wand! They can probably fit several bookings in in one day.
Having said that I'm often in London or Somerset or Bolton.....but still not achieved my desire of a booking in Dubai. Though I have been to Germany. Now there's a story!

What it's all about ...

2007-05-30T21:29:00.000Z

Lots of daft things happen. Not necessarily world-shattering, but funny or sweet - or, yes, plain daft. And people do say nice things - commendations, even recommendations, no less. And questions! So here I can answer, witter, ramble...bit like my shows, really. Except there the audience heckles. I love heckling - done properly, of course!