31-May-2007

German sense of humour or what!!

I was booked to do a show in Germany for a school for children with learning difficulties. It seems to me that most children suffer from learning difficulties though it's probably more to the point that many adults in schools suffer from teaching disabilities!

Anyway I am perfectly used to entertaining such children but I cannot speak German. In England, to be honest, I don't care what the difference is - age (3 or 103), autistic or downs, deaf or blind (I've done 'em all!) - I treat them all the same. And it works. Luckily my personality comes across and we all have fun.
However in Germany they offered a translator. As much of what I do is fairly obvious, especially with facial expressions, it only needed a few quick sentences to be translated. For instance, at one point I did a story about rabbits which they loved. I said 'You're all little rabbits' - or I thought that's what I said, in German.

I noticed it got a far bigger laugh from all the adults than I had expected. But then we all know about the German sense of humour. Later, when I asked why they'd laughed so raucously it was explained to me that my kind translator had me say not 'You're all little rabbits' but 'You're all little shits!'.

Later that day I had to do some close-up magic in the market in the town. One trick I love is done with two coins. You actually put them into the suspects hand, they close their hand - when they open it again one of the coins has gone. It is the most fabulous trick causing outright astonishment.
Not in Germany.
There, this two metre tall lad thought I was accusing him of stealing it. He had no sense of magic, of being entertained, of wonder. He was upset. He became abusive and threatening. I became very scarce!
So, about that sense of humour then ...

When things go wrong

Once - just once, I had no spare balloon pump with me. And that would be the time I began to rely a lot on balloons during the show. And it broke! Panic flooded through me becuase I'd built up to this bit. And it was a somewhat intimidating group - the local Rugby Club Christmas do, with a dozen or so children at the front. "So," I asked, after a moment of silence "has any here got big breaths?" One or two gave me an odd look but I quickly handed round balloons to get them blown up for me. Not one person could do it (including me, of course!). So I had no balloons, but we had a great deal of fun - and of course the children loved watching their Dads make fools of themselves, and the Dads had all sorts of jokes about the balloons (well, they would, wouldn't they!). However I now carry a spare with me, a smaller spare tucked away and one more in the car. I aint never gonna get caught out again!

I need Wonklets

There was the time, only a few years after I'd started entertaining when I had a booking in this nice house. Lovely front room, about 8 or 9 girls who'd seen me before. They were in a state to have fun and after half an hour the father wandered in. I hadn't even started! I blushed, apologised, said how I not got round to doing the tricks yet, blustered a bit. He soon stopped me and said: "Well you seem to have entertained them pretty well to me!" I had the sense to shut up then as I realised that I was no longer a magician - I was an entertainer. A learning curve indeed.
Many years later I reckon I'm a stand-up comedian for children. I started by doing at least half a dozen tricks. Other magicians would ask how many tricks you do! Now I do one - maybe two. And still entertain for up to an hour before a break. Even with 3 year olds.
I am thinking of starting a sort of agency. When I'm booked there's no one else round here to recommend. How will I select other entertainers? How will I judge which beginners will be good?
One simple thing is all I look for. Do the kids like them? If so it doesn't really matter about the magic - it will come! Kids will laugh and cheer - especially if you're clever or funny. But if they really like you - that's real magic.
Anyone in the Hereford area?

30-May-2007

Holidays and stuff ...

Used to have bookings spread all across the week and weekends. Since all the after school clubs they're 90% weekends nowadays. This means I have to take fewer bookings because of all the other things that claim weekend time! Sad! What with Mrs Wonky, two Miss Wonkies and Grandma Wonky. No chance for a poor male Wizard.
A little party at home after school used to fit in nicely for the poor parents. Not to put too fine a point on it - it was all done and dusted and ready for bed! Now though - weekend parties take the whole day up. Decorating the village hall is bad enough but you also have to entertain all the parents. With the party at lunch time - what do you do with the afternoon? Suddenly the birthday party takes all day.
As far as I'm concerned Sods Law says I'll have a booking on one side of the county in Hay-on-Wye and the next person to phone up will be from the other side of Worcestershire in Evesham. I envy those working in Birmingham with millions within reach of an average powered wand! They can probably fit several bookings in in one day.
Having said that I'm often in London or Somerset or Bolton.....but still not achieved my desire of a booking in Dubai. Though I have been to Germany. Now there's a story!

What it's all about ...

Lots of daft things happen. Not necessarily world-shattering, but funny or sweet - or, yes, plain daft. And people do say nice things - commendations, even recommendations, no less. And questions! So here I can answer, witter, ramble...bit like my shows, really. Except there the audience heckles. I love heckling - done properly, of course!